innocence

one thing that really separates me from a lot of the rest of my class, and just many other people i know in Sweden is that so many of them drink fairly frequently and a lot smoke upon occasion, if not regularly, as well. when the topic comes up i either go silent or be the one saying stuff like, i’ve never even consumed alcohol apart from being with my family. which is true, i haven’t. it’s just become more of a topic of interest in my mind lately, how i’m just not the type of person to do that yet. i have high standards for myself. i look down on people when they do that to themselves, especially so early and especially when it’s obviously just for reasons of wanting attention and  trying to be cool, which it so often is. it’s just important to me that i don’t.

i’m waiting to drink. i don’t know how long, but i know that for my own self i don’t want to yet, and i know that i’d let down a lot of the people i’m very closest to if i did now, and it’s just important to me. and i will never smoke. ever. many people think i will. i remember one of my first weeks of school here i was saying that and a girl in my class was saying that i wouldn’t last long at all in a Swedish high school never smoking. it’s not too crazy for her to have said that; a ridiculous number of Swedish girls smoke. but i know that i never will. the people that know me well know that too. i do not want to. i  could compile a list of the things that it does to a person’s body, and it would be quite lengthy. plus, it smells absolutely awful, is expensive to keep up, it’s illegal, and it’s just disgusting. it’s not something i’m willing to do to myself. the end.

this is me at the moment.

i am a happy girl, for i don’t start tomorrow until 12:05 pm :D hoorah.

now i’ma go try and fail to read 100 pages of Hercules in Swedish by tomorrow. wish me luck. adios. <3